


Wounds Made When We're Young (They Tend to Linger)

by truecaptainswanlove



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emma's tattoo backstory, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of past abuse, Trigger warning: abuse, but rating as T just to be safe, this could probably be rated as G
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 09:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11940816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truecaptainswanlove/pseuds/truecaptainswanlove
Summary: With Storybrooke enjoying some peace and quiet after Gold's banishment, Killian asks Emma about her tattoo. It's not exactly a happy tale.





	Wounds Made When We're Young (They Tend to Linger)

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently I like writing tattoo fics, lol. This one is set during the six weeks of peace in Season 4 and gives a backstory for Emma's tattoo (something I always wanted to see on the show but we never got, unfortunately). At first I planned on it being a fluffy and cute backstory but the muse took over and it got a little angsty. There are mentions of past abuse in this story; it's brief and not very graphic but just want to make people aware in case it's something that could bother them. Title comes from Killian's words to Emma in 4x06: "Wounds that are made when we're young tend to linger."

The water in the Storybrooke Harbor was calm and still, the sun shining down and reflecting off the surface. The air was crisp and fresh; not as cold as it had been when Elsa and Ingrid had been in town but there was still a bite to the air. Emma and Killian were sitting at the docks, sharing a grilled cheese and onion rings from Granny’s. It was Saturday, Emma’s day off, and they’d spent the morning sailing on a borrowed boat (Killian assured her that the owner was aware of its whereabouts). Storybrooke had been quiet since Mr. Gold had been banished, with no new villains arriving to cause chaos and panic. Emma had used the opportunity to catch up on some paperwork at the office (she and David had been alarmingly behind but they were starting to catch up) and to enjoy a few quiet moments with Killian. They’d gone on more dates, formal ones like their first date and more casual ones like today. There was something nice about the casual intimacy they shared: the short, sweet kisses greeting each other; the casual touches, reassuring the other that they were there; and the way they could talk about anything. Emma was sure she had shared more with Killian than she had with anyone. He always listened to what she had to say and never judged her for it. The relationship they shared was the kind that Emma had wanted for so long and everything came so easy for them. In all honesty, it kind of scared Emma a bit as she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Peering out of the corner of her eye, Emma saw there was only one onion ring left in the takeout container. Reaching over quickly, Emma snagged it before Killian could, wiggling her eyebrows and smirking at him as she took a bite. Killian shook his head in amusement, used to the way she ate by this point. Judging by the small smile on his face, the way his features softened when he looked at her, Emma knew he didn’t mind. Feeling suddenly shy, the look on Killian’s face making her feel things she was scared to think too much about, Emma reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. As she did, she saw Killian’s eyes follow the movement.

“Can I ask you something love?” he asked.

“Yeah sure, what is it?” Emma replied.

Killian reached out and gently took her left hand in his right, turning it over so her buttercup tattoo was visible. Running his thumb over the delicate skin on the inside of her wrist, sending shivers up Emma’s spine, he said, “I was simply curious about your tattoo. In this realm, it seems that when most people get a tattoo, it has some kind of special meaning to it.”

Nodding her head, Emma tilted her head as she considered his question. “Well, part of it is I’ve just always liked buttercups. I don’t know, there always seemed to be something cheerful about them. It was a part of my father’s crest as well, so maybe there was some part of me drawn to it because of that. When my parents first saw it after they knew who I was, they were shocked. And I guess part of it was because of Princess Buttercup.”

She saw Killian furrow his brow in confusion. “Princess Buttercup? Is she some kind of royalty in this realm I’m not familiar with?”

“No, she’s not. At least, I don’t think she is,” Emma said. Honestly, at this point, it wouldn’t surprise her to find out that that story was true too. “She was a character in a movie called _The Princess Bride_. There was one foster home when I was growing up that wasn’t too bad. The people were actually pretty nice and cared about me. Anyway, they were always having movie nights where we’d make popcorn, pile a bunch of blankets on the couch and watch a movie together.”

“And a movie is one of those moving pictures, correct?” Killian interrupted, eager to show off his knowledge of this realm.

Smiling at him, Emma said, “Right. Anyway, one night we watched _The Princess Bride_ and I fell in love with it. I don’t know, at the time there just seemed to be something magical about it. It was one of my favorite movies growing up. I always wanted a Princess Buttercup moment.”

“So that’s why you chose a buttercup,” Killian said as he considered what she said. “And what about the location? Why you’re wrist?”

Emma took a deep breath. The reason for getting a buttercup was the easy part of the story; this part was harder.

“Do you remember my friend Lily, the one I told you about?” Killian nodded his head, prompting Emma to continue. “Anyway, she had a birthmark on her wrist and she once told me she liked to pretend it was a symbol, one that made her special. I guess something about that stuck with me. Besides, this was the most practical spot.”

“What do you mean, love?” Killian asked gently.

Taking another deep breath, Emma closed her eyes to try to block out the flood of memories, the ones she tried to avoid. As if sensing how hard this was, Killian took her hand and said, “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

Opening her eyes, Emma looked at Killian, concern lacing his features. Taking strength from him, Emma squeezed his hand and said, “I want to, it’s just something I haven’t thought of for awhile.” Pausing for just a moment as she gathered her thoughts, Emma continued. “When I was 16 or 17, I was placed in a foster home that basically only took kids in to get a cheque each week. They didn’t really care about us, they just cared about the money. At this point though, I wasn’t really looking for a family anymore. I just wanted to make it to 18, when I aged out of the system and could be on my own. I tried to avoid the parents as much as possible, especially the dad. He wasn’t abusive or anything but when he drank he could be mean.”

Emma paused again. This was the hard part. “One night I got home late. It was after curfew, so I tried to sneak in. But he was in the living room, drinking beer and smoking a cigarette. When he saw me, he started yelling at me, telling me how ungrateful I was and how I was such a burden. He started advancing on me; I tried to get away but he grabbed my arm. He kept yelling at me and then, before I could react, he took his cigarette and held the tip of it to my wrist.”

She saw Killian tense up out of the corner of her eye, his mouth going hard. Emma kept talking though, knowing if she stopped now she wouldn’t be able to finish. “I didn’t cry out or anything. I was determined not to show him that he hurt me. When he let me go, he told me to go up to my room and we’d discuss my punishment in the morning. I waited a few hours, then I packed up my belongings and ran away.”

Killian had started stroking the inside of her wrist, soothing her. “When I had gotten a few towns away, I decided I wanted something to cover up the burn. It was small but I didn’t want that reminder. So I found a tattoo shop, picked the one I wanted, and had it put on over the burn so you couldn’t see it.” Looking over at Killian, Emma swallowed. “And the rest is history.”

“I’m sorry Swan,” Killian said after a moment. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Shrugging, Emma said, “It was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t affect you though,” Killian said gently. “Wounds made when we’re young tend to linger.”

Emma gave him a teasing smile, hoping to lighten the mood. “You’ve said that before. Is your memory getting bad, old man?”

“I assure you love, my memory is in perfect working order,” he replied with a smirk before giving her a piercing look. “And I know what it’s like to be in the care of someone who doesn’t love you and takes no qualms in harming you. You feel like you did something wrong, that it’s your fault they’re hurting you. If only you were better, maybe they wouldn’t hurt you.”

Emma looked away, emotion welling up. “Yeah,” she said quietly, “I guess it did feel like that.” How was it that he could practically read her mind, could know what she was feeling?

“I assure you Swan, it was not your fault and you couldn’t have done anything differently. Some people take pleasure in seeing other people’s pain and it sounds like this wanker was one of them.”

“I know that now,” Emma said, turning back to Killian. “It took me a while to figure it out but I know it wasn’t about anything I did. And while I wish it hadn’t happened, it led to me running away, which led to meeting Neal, which led to Henry being born and then taking me to Storybrooke and finding my family. Who knows what my life might have turned out like if he hadn’t given me a reason to leave?” Pausing for a moment, Emma said, “Thank you for listening. I’ve never told anyone that story before. I thought it would be harder than it was.”

Giving her a small smile, Killian said quietly, “Well, I’m honoured you shared part of your past with me Swan.” Taking her left hand in his right, he raised it up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on her tattoo. Emma felt her eyelashes flutter and her stomach swoop at the contrasting feeling of his soft mouth and the scruff of his beard against the delicate skin on the inside of her wrist. As he pulled away, he looked up at her from under his lashes. “Since we’re on the subject of tattoos, do you have any others?”

Emma smirked at him. “Well, maybe one day you’ll be able to see for yourself,” she said teasingly. Her words had the desired affect; his pupils widened, making his eyes near black with desire while he unconsciously licked his lips. “What about you? Do you have any other tattoos I don’t know about?”

“Oh, I might have a few,” Killian said. “But you’re welcome to look for yourself love,” he finished, lowering his voice seductively. Emma’s stomach swooped again. Damn he was good.

“Maybe later,” Emma said, her voice coming out a little breathier than she would like. She saw Killian raise his eyebrows in surprise, not expecting her to call his bluff. “But for now, let’s just enjoy the quiet while we can.” Scooting over closer to him, Emma snuggled into Killian’s side, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. As he kissed the top of her head, Killian whispered, “As you wish.” Emma smiled, placing her hand over his heart, enjoying another Buttercup moment.


End file.
